


To be remade, again and again

by ForTheLoveOf



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Newt's being his usual melodramatic self again, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), if you're looking for fluff this is not it, it's basically poetic angst, metaphorical mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 01:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14391087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForTheLoveOf/pseuds/ForTheLoveOf
Summary: Hermann says 'I love you' the first time he visits him.





	To be remade, again and again

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Быть перевоссозданным снова и снова](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15813681) by [Rainy_Elliot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Elliot/pseuds/Rainy_Elliot)



Hermann says 'I love you' the first time he visits him.  
"Hello, Newton." he offers, dutifully closing the door behind him, then back to Newt again. "I love you."  
The words come out matter-of-factly, plain and free of their usual barb and Hermann still keeps talking but _Newton_ can only hear the rush of blood in his ears after that.  


_I love you._

"How _dare_ you. How dare you tell me _now,_ with ropes on my wrists and monsters in my head _how fucking dare you, Hermann Gottlieb,_ tell me _this_ of all things, now." is what he wants to shriek, howl, _scream_ at that face starting to crack in front of him under the heavy silence and yet, and yet, and _yet._

"Fuck you." he spits instead because it's right there for the taking, easy and low-hanging and granted, not one of his finer insults but brainwashed scientists have to make do in times of need.

So he says _fuck you_ and the cracks seal and he prays Hermann never picks up on any of the dread behind it, the pure desperate whole of him now straining against a tide of millions, and Hermann just reaches for a chair that has no right looking this uncomfortable, and he has no right looking this tired while folding his hands over the head of his cane and it doesn't matter, really, except it does because it's not Newt's own head in its place and-

"I think I'd prefer dinner, first."

Newton's laugh is torn from him like someone reached into his lungs and _pulled,_ taking air, flesh and bone with them and he feels sick and he doesn't remember how to breathe this far underwater and Hermann's eyes are still on him and he wonders if Hermann would ever accept a cane carved from Newt's breastbone, he wonders if he would agree to carry that instead because Newt would, oh, Newton would absolutely offer his ribcage open for this man and ask him to _dive in._

**Author's Note:**

>  _And I should be happy to have this_  
>  _many undoings. To be remade again_  
>  _and again, forgive me._  
>  _— Joseph Capehart, Better a Boy_


End file.
